Friday
by Akihabarada
Summary: After the… incident, Horace tries to find his way through all the devious trappings of pop culture. Chaos ensues. (Note: As this is a series, please submit suggestions! I'll take anything; TV, movies, songs, anything.) Now T for language/drug use (comedic). NOTE: Read "Wrecking Ball" before this. Note Note Notey-Note: Reviews are messed up cuz I took out Alda Chapter.
1. Friday

**Disclaimer: I do not own Black Friday, Will, Horace, or The Ranger's Apprentice series. Or Ferraris. Or wrecking ball. Or a car, really. Enjoy.**

Will looked around for Horace. He'd said that he'd be there to pick will up at the park after his date with Alice, but he was late. Again.

After about half hour of waiting, Will heard the familiar purr of Horace's Ferrari.

"Finally!" He said, angrily, as he got in the car, "What took you so long?"

"Sorry," said Horace, "I was listening to my new favorite song and lost track of time."

Will sighed inwardly. After the Wrecking Ball incident, he knew this would be a long drive home.

"So," he said, once they had pulled on to the freeway, "what's the new song?"

"it's called Friday, by Rebecca Black." Horace said.

Will jumped out of the car.


	2. Never Say Never

**Disclaimer: I do not own Never Say Never, Justin Bieber, Will, Horace, Alyss, the Ranger's Apprentice series, or a hospital. I do, however own the nurse. But you can have her if you want. Enjoy!**

Will groaned. Where was he? And what was that obnoxious beeping sound?

"He's waking up, you can see him now." A voice whispered.

"Wha…?" he croaked.

"Hey, Will." he heard Alyss' soft voice.

Will opened his eyes. He saw Horace and Alyss standing in front of him. He looked around. He was a hospital room. And that beeping noise was the heart monitor. _Of course!_ Now he remembered. He had jumped out of Horace's car.

"You fell out of my car." said Horace.

Will was about to correct him, but then thought better of it. No reason to tell his friend that he had nearly driven Will to suicide.

"He needs to rest." said a third voice. He looked to his left and saw a nurse sitting to his left.

"But-" Horace began.

"I'll stay with him. You two need to let him rest." the nurse said in a voice that left no room for argument.

"At least let me put this movie on." said Horace, "I got it just for him."

"Fine." said the nurse.

"Wait…" Will said, in fear of some horrible pop culture movie.

"Don't worry, Will. It's an autobiography. I got it just for you." Horace said, reassuringly.

"Just… promise to stay with him." said Alyss.

"I promise, now go." the nurse said.

"Ok, just let me put the movie in." said Horace as he inserted a disc into the slot in the TV.

"Hope you feel better soon." Horace said, then walked out.

"Love you!" Alyss said. She leaned over him, kissed him on the forehead, and left.

Will turned his attention to the movie that was starting. He wondered what Horace could have picked. Then, Justin Bieber popped up, talking about his career. He and the nurse both mentally screamed _Curse you Horace!_


	3. Citizen Kane

**Disclaimer: I do not own citizen Kane, Horace, Will, Gilan, or the Ranger's Apprentice series. Or Redbull. I do, however, own a large talking lamp. Enjoy.**

* * *

Will was deep in concentration. Absolutely nothing could disturb him. He was totally in sync with his bow. He had the perfect shot lined up. All he had to do was wait one… more… sec- his phone rang.

He threw his bow down, and grabbed it, not caring who was calling.

"Please tell me you have something for me to do!" He yelled into the phone.

"Woah, woah calm down." Gilan said, on the other end of the line.

"Sorry. I've just been so bored lately. The king of Celtica wants a lot of stuff and the Hibernians want a lot of stuff. I don't really know what, I haven't been listening." said Will. He had spent the last month in Celtica directing a trade negotiation between four of the Hibernian kings and the Celtic king. Of course, it was mostly just the five people yelling at each other, asking for more money and less taxes, then more yelling at each other. In a word, boring.

"Well you're in luck. I need a friend to come with me to my first movie night" said Gilan.

"Ok, I'll be right there." said Will.

Will closed his eyes tight, and concentrated hard.

"poof!" He was in Gilan's bedroom.

"Good, you're here. I got some clothes for you. Change fast, Horace and Halt will be here in a few minutes." Gilan said.

Fifteen minutes and three Red Bulls later, they heard a "ding dong"

Gilan left Will in his bedroom with the flat screen, while he went to open the door. A minute later, he and Horace entered the room.

"Where's Halt?" Will asked.

"He canceled last-minute some big dinner party." said Horace.

"But he was bringing the movie!" said Gilan in dismay.

"Surely you have some movies here?" asked Will.

"No, I haven't decided on a genre I liked yet." Gilan said, dismayed.

"Don't worry, I brought a backup" said Horace, "It's called Cit-"

"NO!" yelled will before jumping out of the window.

"I was going to say Citizen Kane." said Horace.

* * *

**So, yeah, this chapter was different. Please put any new theme ideas in the reviews!**


	4. 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own =3, Ray William Johnson, Halt, will, or Horace, or Ranger's Apprentice. I do however, own the tiger. I call him Pepito, and if you don't favorite, follow, and review this story, you might just get to meet Pepito. Enjoy.**

* * *

Will looked around frantically. It had been there, where was it now? He needed his bow for the big hunt he and Halt were going on.

_Of Course!_ Will remembered. He had given to Halt they day before so Will could finish packing.

Will sighed with relief. Halt would quite literally _murder_ Will if he so much as scratched his bow.

With the knowledge that the bow was secure, Will could go. He shouldered his bag, closed his eyes, and concentrated.

"poof!" He was standing next to halt in the middle of… where was he?

"We're in Indus." said Halt.

"Ohhh…" understanding dawned in Will's eyes. Indus was a land between Nihon-Ja and Araluen. It was rich in resources and natural beauty. It was also rich in dangerous animals, such as elephants, tigers, hippopotamuses, and all sorts of tiny nasty insects.

"We're hunting a tiger." Halt said.

"But Halt," Will began, "I thought-"

"Always a dangerous pastime." remarked Halt, snarkily.

Will rolled his eyes.

"I thought you didn't like to hunt Tigers." said Will.

"I don't. They're big, stupid, dangerous animals that take days to follow, and can spend weeks in their dens, but this one's been killing off livestock at a nearby town, so I figured we could go hunting and save a village's food supply."

Will nodded his understanding.

* * *

**Three days later…**

* * *

Will and Halt were lying on their stomachs, side by side, at the edge of a clearing that held the mouth of the tiger's den, waiting.

"So Halt," Will said, more out of boredom than anything else, "Are you watching anything on TV in 2014?"

"actually, yes. I love this one YouTube show called-" Halt stopped abruptly as the tiger exited it's den.

"Well?" Will whispered.

"Equals Three, by Ray William Johnson." Halt whispered back.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Will cried.


	5. iCarly

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, Will, Alyss, or the Ranger's Apprentice series. I do however own a rather large knife. Enjoy.**

Will groaned. He had spent the last 48 hours in the recovery ward of the hospital. Apparently, his old enemy Alda had come back to take a final swing at Horace

Although he "cherished" the thought of spending hours on end with Horace watching whatever new TV show, he just couldn't. He needed some recovery time with Alyss, so now, we find him groaning as he sits down on Alyss' couch.

"What do you want to watch?" She asked him on a nurturing manner.

"Whatever you want, I think I'll just sleep." Will said.

"Okay" said Alyss simply.

The first episode of iCarly popped up on her flat screen.

Will cried himself to sleep.

**So, we're back to short and sweet. I think I'm going to add more depth to this story such as the Horace/Alda fight I just posted. Tell me what you think in the reviews!**


	6. Girls

**Disclaimer: I do not own Will, Horace, Ranger's Apprentice, Earth, or females. I do however own 7 dancing Llamas. I also own Callie. And the annoying math teacher. Enjoy.**

"So everyone, tonight's homework is to do pages 97-103." said the annoying math teacher. Will could never remember her name.

"Drring!" With the bell, the 20 bored math students got up, excited for lunch.

Will was walking out when a girl- what was her name? Callie? Callie. Stopped him.

"hey, Will, I was wondering if you wanted to eat lunch with me?" she asked, eyes hopeful.

"Uhh… ok…" He said, unsure of himself.

He and Callie walked to their school cafeteria. They both got their food, and found an empty table to sit at. Lunch was awkward. Will tried to start a conversation, but Callie would say only a few words, then go back to eating.

Once lunch was over, Will and Callie were walking to the tray return, and Callie spoke up.

"So… same time tomorrow?" Callie said.

'Well, actually I-" But Callie was gone.

_Man_, Will thought, _Girls are weird._

**So, sorry for the late release. I've had a lot of stuff going on. Oh, and no. Will and Callie will not start dating. Will is dating - 'Will coughs loudly' fine. Will is married to Alyss. **


	7. One Direction

**Sorry I've been gone for so long. Anyways, I'm back! Disclaimer: I don't own RA or One Direction.**

* * *

"Hey, Will!"

Will gritted his teeth.

"You know, I've gotten really into this band called-"

"Horace. Stop. Every time you talk to me I end up in the hospital. And you have no taste.

"Relax. I was going to say I'm into this band called One Direction."

"Horace"

"Yeah?"

"ME TOO! WOOOO!"

* * *

**So… yeah...**


	8. Pyramid

**Disclaimer: I don't own Will, Horace, Brynn, RA, or a pyramid scheme. At least, that's what I tell the police. Enjoy!**

* * *

Will was bored. He was really bored. He was so bor-

"Bzzz!" That was Will's phone.

"Oh god, please don't be-" Another text from Callie. He had several more awkward lunches with her, before he decided to stay in class late every day, so he could avoid Callie. So, every day, she texts him. Every. Day.

"Bzzz!" His phone again.

"OH COME ON!" He yelled to whatever god he believed in.

"Might as well check" he muttered. Ooh! From Horace.

The text read "Hey man! I have a great idea! Come to my place ASAP"

After a long mental debate, Will decided to risk visiting Horace. At least the hospital wasn't boring.

* * *

(several minutes later)

* * *

"Hey, man, what's up?"

"Well," said Horace, "I was talking to this guy, and he had a great way for us to make money."

"What?"

"Well, he said the future of business is in these things. They're called calling cards. So, basically, we each get two people to participate. Then they each get thre-"

"Horace, you ignorant slut."

"What?"

"Horace."

"What?!"

"This is a pyramid scheme."

* * *

**So… yeah. The office reference. Kind of took a new turn in that one. Hope you liked it!**


	9. Imagine Dragons

**Disclaimer: I am not dead. Also, I do not own Imagine Dragons, RA, or a Ferrari. Yet.**

* * *

"Hey, Will!"

"Gah!" Will was getting scared. After the binge watching, listening, and reading, Will was starting to think about suicide.

"What?"

"I really like this new ban-"

"NO! STOP! I'M DONE!"

"Just let me tell you their na-"

"NO! I'M DONE!" Will made a beeline for the nearest window.

Horace grabbed him and pulled him down.

"They're called Imagine Dragons"

Will stared at Horace.

"Horace…"

"Yes?...?"

"You have finally arrived."

* * *

**So, sorry for the late release. My schedule been really hectic. I'm trying to get back to normalcy. (Thanks Warren)**


	10. The End of the World

**Disclaimer: I don't own RA, or twelve dancing penguins. I do, however own eleven dancing penguins. For now…**

* * *

Will and Horace rode in companionable silence to Castle Redmont. It seemed like it had been years since they'd been to their home. And hey were happy to be seeing it again.

"Oh, Will I forgot my toothbrush in 2014."

"Well, go get it. I'll wait for you here." Horace closed his eyes and concentrated hard. Then… nothing.

"What the heck? It didn't work." Horace said, sounding scared.

"Oh, come on, you probably just messed up." Will said. "Let me try." Will closed his eyes and concentrated hard. Then… nothing.

"Oh, no…" Will said. "It didn't work for me either.

Horace started to hyperventilate. "But if we can't get back then we-"

"Calm down Horace. I'm sure we can jus-"

"No! No! No! Nonononononononononononono! NOOOOOOOO!" Horace got off Kicker and started to run around in circles.

"What are you doing!?"

"I don't know!"

"Will started freaking out. He got off Tug and fell down.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Oh, yeah? What's wrong with you?" Horace and Will started shouting at eachother. From a distance, Halt and Alyss watched.

"Best prank ever."

* * *

**So, not a pop-culture reference, but I felt like I wanted to mess with Will today. And Horace. It's always funny to watch them freak out.**


	11. Ranger's Apprentice…?

**Disclaimer: No, I am not dead. Sorry, vacation in Caribbean has been great, also, I had the slowest internet on Earth down there (or up there, depending where you are). Ooh, what's the difference between Will's clone and RA? I don't have RA in my closet. Because I don't own it. Get it?**

* * *

Will was happy. Things were going well, Horace was no longer an idiot, Halt was visiting, and he'd finally figured out how to avoi- "Hey Will!" _Ugh. Callie. _

"hey, Callie… What's up?" Will asked, hoping to avoid a full-blown word hurricane.

"I've started reading this new book series and I think you'd really like it!" _Thank Gorlog, no hurricane._

"Cool, what's it called?"

"Ranger's Apprentice!" **Universe tears apart, Zero is divided by, Ragnak and Morgarth rise from their graves and high-five each other, black holes explode, Chuck Norris is defeated, Morgan Freeman makes a bad film, and Halt gets warm and fuzzy on the inside.**

* * *

**N/A I hope that's how I use an N/A. I probably should've learned that by now. Anyway, although, yes, it is technically impossible for Morgan Freeman to make a bad film or Halt to get warm and wuzzy inside, we'll let that slide. **

**Now we'll take a moment of silence for all those infected with the Ebola Virus. **


	12. Shingeki No Apprentice

**Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan, Shingeki No Kyojin, Ranger's Apprentice, Will, Halt, Horace, Levi, Eren or Mikasa. Because I'm afraid of them. Please, just take the money and go. Also, please, please, please give suggestions. I could do these alot more often if I had more inspiration to write. So…**

Halt was sitting, every muscle in his body tense. Ready to destroy the evidence (and his TV) at a moment's notice. He was watching a show called Attack on Titan. He loved it. More specifically, he loved the main character, Levi. Yes, Levi was definitely the main character. No doubt. 100% canon. Levi was just so… awesome. Halt didn't know why, but there was something about Levi he liked. He just couldn-

"Hi Halt!"

"AAHH! DIE!" Halt screamed, charging at poor, unsuspecting Will.

"Woah woah woah! Sorry, geeze" Will said. Or he tried to, but his voice was muffled by the rug his face was currently being slammed into.

"YOU SPEAK OF THIS TO NO-ONE!" Halt yelled.

"Halt, chill, we all watch anime WIll said, and gestured to Horace, who was standing in the doorway, laughing hysterically.

"Thanks for the help" Will said, sarcastically, as Horace tried to regain his composure.

"You do?" Halt asked, still not sure whether to confess his secret love or tie them up in trees and make sure no one ever found out.

"Yeah," Horace said, having finally stopped laughing "Attack on Titan is my favorite"

"Oh," Halt said still not sure they were telling the truth.

"Chill, Halt, we both love AOT. Levi's so cool"

"Yeah," Halt said, now confident they were telling the truth, "Levi's my favorite too"

"Well that makes sense" Horace said.

"Why?" Asked Halt. Maybe they knew why he liked him.

"Well, because he's so grim and foreboding, but he really just cares about other, like you, and because he's the best member of the Survey Corps, which is like us Rangers, and you're the best member of the Rangers."

"That's not the only reason why" said Will, smirking.

"Why then?" asked Halt, instantly suspicious.

"Come Halt, it's pretty obvious." said will, still smiling.

"Not to me" said Halt, threateningly. Horace was getting nervous.

"Come on Halt, it's so obvious! Don't tell me you're that _Short_-sighted." Said Will, laying heavy emphasis on the short.

After running for three days, Will was caught by Halt and tied to a tree… for three days.

**A/N: So… get it?**


	13. Ugh, I Don't Even Wanna Know

**Disclaimer: I don't own own RA, Will, Halt, Pauline, or . I do, however have some stories on there. Not that you would know anything about that… Oh, yeah, and SPOILER ALERT… I guess… I mean, you really shouldn't read into the fandom until you've read all the canon. But Whatever.**

Halt was doing something. Browsing. Browsing a website I think we all know well and hold close to our hearts. He was browsing a specific genre of the site, called Ranger's Apprentice. M rated Ranger's Apprentice. Nasty. Anyway, Halt had just finished reading a particularly… steamy story about the… consummation of a marriage I think we all saw coming from the beginning of book one (wink wink). The particular story gave Halt some… ideas about that very marriage, of which he was a part. (Get it? I hope so. Fine, It's Halt and Pauline. Idiot)

"what?" Halt said aloud, "What's HaltxWill, lots of… lemons?" Hat asked to no one in particular, curious. (I know, I know)

After reading one of the more shocking pieces of work in his life, Halt decided he needed to go back to Araluen and not have access to the internet for some time.

**Araluen, a day later**

"Halt, I've got to go to a diplomatic meeting for the next week, so you'll be on your own." Pauline said.

"Ok, bye" Halt said, trying to maintain his gruff presence.

"Halt…" Pauline said in a dangerously low tone, "What was that you said?"

"Oh, I-I- said I love you! B-bye!" Halt stammered nervously.

"that's what I thought." Pauline said, smirking.

**Araluen, yet another day later**

Halt and Will were in the forest, eating dinner after a long day of hunting.

"You know Halt, it's nice to get to be out here, alone with you." Will said, smiling at Halt.

"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?!" Halt jumped back from Will.

"Woah, Halt, calm down. I just meant it's nice to get some mentor-pupil time, like the old days." Will said.

"oh, I just thought…" Halt wandered off, remembering that HaltxWill he had read. Ugh.

"Anyway, I'll be done with dinner in about five minutes" Will said, putting small amounts of spice and steamed vegetables into an already delicious smelling stew.

"Halt, stop, you're drooling" Will said, grinning at him, "You seem thirsty, very thirsty" He said, laying heavy emphasis on the thirty to make sure he was understood. "And you know, I know just the right thing to… quench your thirst" Will said, smiling a seductive smile at Halt. He walked towards Halt, grabbing the collar of his shirt and leaning in for a kiss-

"NO!" Halt screamed, running away, "NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!" He screamed, running into the night. Will doubled over laughing. After he had read Halt's internet history, he knew how to get him back for those three days tied to a tree.

**A/N: Just in case you don't get it, Will read Halt's history, saw the nasty, nasty fanfic, and knew that if he pretended to try to seduce Halt, he would freak out.**


	14. Truth Or Dare

**Disclaimer: I'm not dead. Just a buncha stuff going on in school. Also, I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Will, Horace, Alyss, Evanlyn, Jenny Gilan, or anyone else. Or peaches. But I do own Canada. I do.**

Will stepped back from the large fireplace and looked to his bored friends. Will, Horace, Alyys, Evanlyn, Gilan, and Jenny were at castle Araluen. Their days had been wonderful, full of hunting, fishing, fencing, and exploring the woods and fields nearby, and they got to stay in Horace and Evanlyn's (Will still couldn't think of her as Cassandra) suite of apartments. The nights, however, had been quite boring, as they didn't have their cellphones, and had forgotten how to entertain themselves.

"Hey, guys" will said, as an idea had just struck him, "Why don't we play truth or dare?" They all jumped on the idea. It would be a good way to alleviate their boredom - and, Will thought, embarrass their friends.

"Great idea!" said Gilan, his ranger mind had the same idea as Will. "I'll start. Jenny! Truth or dare?"

"Uh…" Jenny said, considering her options. She new the first few rounds would be pretty easy and unobtrusive. It would be the later rounds that the ridiculous dares and embarrassing truths would come. Truth, she decided would be the safest bet.

"Well?", Gilan asked.

"Truth." said Jenny, confident in her decision.

"Ok," said Gilan. He knew Jenny would play it safe, but that didn't mean he couldn't make her uncomfortable - just a little he added as an afterthought. "Have you ever had a crush on anyone but me?" It was a simple question. It made sense to start with something like that - slightly embarrassing, but because he was asking about her past, it was less obtrusive.

"Ok," said Jenny. She knew Gilan would start with something along those lines. "Back when we were wards," She indicated herself, Will, Alyss, and Horace, "I had a crush on someone."

"Who?" Alyss asked, already knowing the answer.

"Well," Jenny's face flushed. She knew Alyss knew her secret, "It was Will."

"Me?!" Will asked incredulously. He'd never thought he stood a chance with Jenny, and, more importantly, he'd always thought she had a thing for Horace - when she was a ward, of course.

"It was a long time ago, Will" Jenny amended quickly. She glanced nervously at Alyss, afraid she would be mad, but Alyss just smiled at her and nodded, indicating she'd already know and didn't mind it.

"Ok, my turn next!" said Evanlyn, who, not knowing much about life in the ward, had elected to remain silent.

"Ok," said Jenny, having already forgotten about the previous question "truth or dare?"

The questions and dares continued for some time into the night. As it went on, the dares and truths became increasingly embarrassing. That was when it happened.

"Ok, Will Alyss said with a smile, "it's your turn. Truth or dare?" Will, still slightly put off by the last dare (Horace had dared Alyss to kiss Evanlyn, and, after a hard smack coming from both involved parties, Alyss reluctantly kissed her on the cheek. When Horace had complained about the kiss not being on the lips, he earned another pair of slaps from the courier and the princess.

"Truth," will said. There was no way he was kissing Gilan. Or Horace.

"Alright, lemme think," Alyss said. She was a little disappointed, but she knew there was no way will would do "dare". "Ok, What is your deepest, darkest secret?"

"Alright, lemme think," Will said, mocking the informal manner of speech Alyss had used to ask her question. "OH!" He shouted before immediately clapping his hand over his mouth.

"What?" Said Jenny.

"It's nothing said will, trying to cover up the obvious embarrassing memory he had just uncovered.

"No, you gotta say it!" Said Evanlyn.

"Fine," said Will, glaring daggers at Jenny and Evanlyn - and Alyss, for asking the question. "Ever since I was little, I've been deathly afraid of-"

"What?" asked Horace, edging him on.

"Of- Of peaches"

"WHAT?" exclaimed everyone in the group. There was no way Will was for real.

"Will come on, don't lie to us" said Gilan.

"No, I'm serious. Back when we were wards, I once found this old peach tree. It was blooming a bunch of big, ripe delicious looking peaches. I had to have one. But this was before I knew how to climb trees. Come to think of it, this might've been the reason I learned. Anyway, I couldn't reach the peaches on the branches, and I couldn't climb up to them. Most of the peaches on the ground were dirt and bruised, but one had landed in a soft spot of dirt. I picked it up, and bit into it. But i realized there was something wiggling in my mouth. It turned out I had bit into a peach with worms in it. It was so disgusting. I threw up so much afterward. It was terrible." Will finished.

"Oh, Will" started Alyss.

"Don't worry. I'm fine now. So long as you don't give me any peaches" Will joked.

"Alright, great! My turn!" Said Gilan.

**So, What'd ya think? Installment 2 of Truth or dare will be coming later, with even more embarrassing moments and memories.**


	15. Best Prank Ever…2?

**Disclaimer: I don't own RA, Halt, Will, Horace, Alyss, Lady Pauline, or Pranking. I've got a pretty nice set of teeth tho. Not my own teeth. I just found some teeth and was all like "SWEET!" So I have teeth now.**

Horace and Will were plotting, plotting how to get back at Alyss and Halt for the little prank they'd pulled on Will and Horace. A nearly impossible task, of course. Halt and Alyss, always so in control of a situation, would never be embarrassed or deceived by any normal prank. For weeks, Will and Horace had been thinking of ideas. However, they couldn't think of anything. Finally, in a last desperate attempt, they'd gone to lady Pauline for advice. If there was anyone capable of taking down Halt and Alyss, it wa Pauline, they knew. So, one afternoon in Redmont, Will and Horace had gone to Pauline and explained their plight.

"Well," she said, "Not that I'm usually a one for pranks, but…" she let the sentence hang.

"...but, what?" Horace asked.

"But, I could tell you how to get them. As long as you promised not to tell them I told you how."

"Of course, we promise" Will said, "right Horace?"

"right," replied Horace.

"Alright, come close and I'll tell you" Pauline said.

"For Halt all it's gonna take is…"

(Later)

"You want me to do what?!" Crowley asked, incredulously.

"Listen, Crowley, it's not for real, it's just a revenge prank." Will said.

"Oh," Crowley snicked slightly to himself. It _would _be funny to see Halt react to that, "All right, I'll do it - a long I get to see it, of course" Crowley said, smiling devilishly.

"Of course" Horace said, he and Will returning the smile.

(Even Later)

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right," Arald said, very confused, "why would King Duncan-"

"King Duncan doesn't know a word of this, it's a prank" Will said.

"A prank, huh? Well, I supposes even Alyss would be flustered by that" Arald said, imagining the young diplomat receiving _that _piece of information, "Alright, sounds funny. We'll finally get to see if Alyss can hold as true to her position as her teacher" said Arald, grinning. He and Alyss had naturally grown to be friends, as she was the most likely candidate to replace Pauline for head of the courier corps. in Redmont after Pauline retired, and, in that time, he'd never once gotten a crack out of her, while Alyss had suitably embarrassed the baron several times.

(Even later later, later… later?)

Halt rubbed his shoulders absentmindedly. He'd hurt himself chasing down some bandits in the east of the fief. For perhaps the third time that day, Halt realized he was growing older. He gazed happily at the small town that lay outside of Castle Redmont. Cursing himself, Halt pushed the sentiment out of his head and pushed Abelard on to Castle Redmont, where his apartment was, and, Halt thought happily, Pauline.

A few minutes later, Halt had dismounted and bedded down his horse. He walked up to his apartment and opened the door.

"SURPRISE!" The cheer erupted from the throats of Gilan, Will, Horace, Jenny, Pauline, and Crowley.

"What? Crowley, Gilan what are you doing here?" Halt said, flustered. What _where _Gilan and Crowley doing in his apartments, not to mention Will, Horace, or Jenny.

"We're here to celebrate, of course!" said Gilan, cheerily.

"Celebrating what?" Halt asked, still totally in the dark. Now Crowley jumped in.

"Your retirement of course!" said Crowley, smiling and presenting Halt with a golden oakleaf.

"My Retirement?" Halt said, now thoroughly confused, "Why would I retire?"

"Come on, Halt" this time it was Will speaking "It's no secret that you're not getting any younger, and well, we figured now was a good time to-"

"A good time to what?!" Halt interrupted, "Why should I retire now? I'm as healthy as a bull. I've never felt better in my life!"

"Halt, please" said Crowley, with a very small and practiced expression of understanding on his face "It's not really your choice. I think if you just-"

"Not my choice, my eye!" Halt yelled. He was furious, "I tell you what, why don't you tell me it's "not my choice" once you've-"

What Halt was about to say, because, at that very moment, Horace let a small bark of laughter escape. Will, who had barely been holding in his own laughter, now started laughing with Horace, until the entire room of people (Halt excluded, of course) were laughing.

"This was a prank?" Halt asked, part furios, part relieved.

Horace, in between fits of laughter, managed to choke out, "You shoulda seen your face!" before collapsing into another fit of laughter.

After sufficient beatings had been administered to Will, Horace, and Gilan, a death glare to jenny, a very restrained handshake-deathglare combo with Crowley, and a very meek kiss with Pauline, Halt very roughly asked his guests to "Get the hell out" of his apartment.

(Lalalalalalalalalater. Later. … … … LAAAATERRRR!)

Part one of the plan was done, and, although they were still hurting from the beating delivered by Halt, Will and Horace were very pleased with the results of their first prank. Now onto prank number 2. Will and Horace had hid in baron Arald's office before he called Alyss.

"Alyss, there is something we should discuss. Close the door, would you? Alright, let's begin," the baron's tone was an uneasy one, and it was obvious he was uncomfortable doing this. It was an act, of course, and Will had been surprised by how realistic the baron had made it seem, "There's no easy way for me to say this, but… well… you've been reassigned"

Alyss, ever the diplomat, showed no sign of the gut-churning nervousness inside her, "Reassigned, my lord? Reassigned where?"

"Alyss, these things usually don't last long. I'm sure there's been some mista-"

"Reassigned where, my lord?" Alyss said, still calm, but with a definite edge to her voice.

The baron seemed to have found sudden interest in his hands, and, in looking down, he averted Alyss' gaze.

"Where, Arald?" Alyss said, her voice laden with hostility.

"Well, you see…" the baron stumbled over his words.

"Spit it out" Alyss said. The thought of being away from Will, Pauline, and Jenny was a bad one.

"You've been assigned to an embassy"

"Which embassy?" Alyss spat at the baron. Her voice, the baron remarked to herself, could cut metal.

"The embassy in Gallica." the baron mumbled.

"GALLICA!? That place is a joke! It's where we send the worst couriers in the service! Why could I possible be going there?!" Alyss ranted.

"As I said, it could be a mistake. It's possible that someone-" the baron tried to put on a reasonable tone. He was doing remarkably well, he thought.

"Why, Arlad?" Alyss said, her voice a razor.

"Apparently, the king," the baron readjusted jacket, anything to delay the message, "was told by the crown princess that you had been badmouthing her"

Now it made sense. All this time, Alyss had trusted that girl, but it was obvious she hadn't given up her feelings for will. She should've know better.

"Arald, you know me, you know I'd never-"

At that point, Will and Horace, unable to stop themselves, fell out of the dressers they were hiding in and fell on the floor laughing. Alyss, stunned for a moment, realized her leg had been pulled. She breathed a sigh of relief before glaring at everyone in the room, a very undiplomatic thing to do, and storming out.

"Will," wheezed Horace throughs uncontrollable fits of laughter.

"Yeah, Horace?" Will choked out.

"Let's not do this whole prank thing again, agreed?"

"Agreed"

Then they went back to laughing

**A/N: Woah! I got carried away on this one. So, thoughts, suggestions? Should Halt twerk? Is Alyss all about that bass?**


	16. Prank War 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own RA, any of the people in RA, All About that Bass, or Meghan Trainor.**

*All about that Bass plays, muted by a door* Will walked into the room, only to see-

Will: "NO!"

Me: "No, Will, the line is "Alyss? What are you doing?" *Talks to other crew members* "Everybody back to one! Sam! This time, use-" *Will smacks me* "Will why'd you slap me?!"

Will: "I'm not doing this, this is stupid."

Alyss: "Yeah, I'm not so sure I should do this. And I'm a lot taller and thinner than Meghan Trainor. I don't look like her."

Me: "Well what are we supposed to do? I can't write another script by the end of today! And I can't call in Jenny to do it, because she and Gilan are in California!"

Will: *whispers to me* "Don't tell Alyss, but sometime you _should_ bring in Jenny to do All About That Bass!"

Me: *Whispers to Will* "I know, right?"

Alyss: "Guys, what are you talking about?"

Me: "Nothing," *winks at will* "but Will had an idea"

Will: "I did?"

Me: "Yeah, you said we should let Halt tie you to a tree"

Will: I never said tha-"

Me: *Whispers to Will* "Do you want me to tell her what you really said?"

Will: "Fine"

(Later)

Me: "So basically, we need you to tie Will to a tree"

Halt: "Is there any backstory, or am I just engaging in it for sport?"

Me: Well, you're getting back at Will for pranking you, and, our statistics show this will get almost as many views as one of the girls twerking. Well, Jenny twerking. Or Svengal twerking."

Halt: "Then shouldn't I tie Horace to the tree too?"

(LaterPotater)

Me: "So basically, we need you to let Halt tie you to a tree"

Horace: "What happened to All About that Bass?"

Me: "Alyss chickened out, but Jenny's doing it and, if you do this for me, I'll send you a tape of the video"

Horace: "Deal"

(Lalalandlater)

Me: "So basically, that why we need you to let Halt tie Will and Horace to you"

Tree: …

Me: "I'll take that as a… yes?...?"

Tree: …

Me: "Awesome"

"Ow…" Will didn't know where he was. All he knew was he had a throbbing pain in his head and he was tied down.

"Who is that?" he asked, more to himself than the person tied next to him.

"Will?" The voice was Horace's. Why was Horace here? More importantly, who'd tied them here? Suddenly, Will understood.

"Horace, I think Halt tied us to the tree as a revenge prank." said Will, knowing he would spend a loooong time in this tree.

"Yup!" can a cheery voice from below them. It was Halt.

"Come on Halt, I'm already getting punished bad enough. Alyss still won't speak to me" said Will.

"Well, you shoulda thought it through in the first place" said Halt. WIll looked down, only to see him peeling a ripe peach.

"Halt, you son of a bitch! You know I'm terrified of peaches!" screamed Will.

"Would you rather I fed it to you?" Halt said, biting into the apple. Now _that _got Will scared. IF Halt forced him to eat the peach, he'd definitely-

"UGH! GROSS! THERE'S A WORM IN THERE!" Halt screamed, running away into the night.

"HAH!" Will and Horace yelled and cackled as the heard him running and screaming. Once they'd started to calm down, a thought occurred to Horace.

"Will?" he asked, a little inkling of fear creeping into his voice.

"What, Horace?" asked Will, still giggling at Halt's folly.

"If Halt's gone, who's gonna get us down?" Horace asked.

"Crap."

**A/N: The whole first dialogue about All About that Bass isn't story canon, I just wanted to add it. Thanks to WIllow Treaty for suggesting Halt tying Will and Horace to a tree!**


	17. Jenny: The Awakening

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice. If I did, I wouldn't be doin' this. I'd be RICH! I also don't own Jenny, Will, Alyss, or Evanlyn. But I've got all I need to make me happy - coffee.**

Jenny's plan had almost come to fruition. Jenny, who'd never really been one to pull pranks, was feeling a little devilish today. Maybe it was the fact that it was a rainy day, maybe it was the strange rock with the eye on the pyramid with a star around it that told her to kill her friends. Either way, she had a good idea.

"Alright, step one" she muttered cheerfully to herself. It'd be funny to see Alyss' reaction. She knocked on the heavy oak door of the temporary suite of apartments she and her friends shared in Castle Araluen. Jenny, Will, Horace, Gilan, Alyss, and Evanlyn were at Araluen for a week. Two nights ago, they had played truth or dare. Step one was to get it going again.

"Hey, Jenny?" Gilan answered the door, "where ya been?"

"I was just looking for something to read in the library. I didn't find anything, but I had an idea!" Jenny said cheerfully. She might have been pulling a prank, but she still enjoyed the thought of playing truth or dare again.

"Are you sure?" Gilan asked. Last time, the game had climaxed with Horace being dared to make out with Will. Horace, more than a little put of by doing… _that _with his best friend, decided to call it a night.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm sure no one will get that crazy again!" Jenny exclaimed.

"All right." Gilan let her in. "Hey guys," he called out to Horace, WIll, Alyss, and Evanlyn, each of whom seemed to be going through their own phase of mind-numbing boredom. At Gilan's call, they looked up. "How about another round of thruth or dare?" After a general, excited consent was given, they began.

(A few dozen "Truth or dare?"s later)

"Ok," said Will, "My turn" _Now_, thought Jenny. This was the perfect time to unleash step two. "Truth, or dare?"

"Truth" Will said.

"Ok, how far have you and Alyss gotten?" she asked, devilishly.

"WOAH! I'm not answering that!" Will exclaimed.

"Either answer, or choose dare!" said Jenny. Step two complete. Make Will choose dare.

"Fine, dare" Will said, resigned to whatever crazy dare she could come up with.

"Ok," said Jenny, "There's no going back now. I dare you to kiss Evanlyn… on the _lips_!"

"Alright, that's not so bad" Will said. At least it wasn't Horace. Or Gilan. He'd never live that down.

While Will leaned in and gave the princess a quick peck on the lips, Alyss, the target of the prank, fumed. Why would Jenny do that? Unless… as she looked over at Jenny, glaring, she saw Jenny give her a quick wink.

"So it was you," she muttered, more to herself than Jenny. She was furious. She'd have to think of a way to get her back. But how? Maybe if she-

"Alyss?" Will asked.

"What!?" Alyss barked at Will.

"Uh…" Will wasn't sure why Alyss was mad. "I said truth or dare"

"Oh, sorry, truth"

Jenny was found tied to the flagpole flying over Castle Araluen. Lesson? Never mess with Alyss. Ever.

**A/N: So this happened before 15&amp;16 but after 14. So, thoughts? How Will Jenny get back at Alyss?**


	18. Alyss' Reckoning

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Alyss, Will, or Canada. Someone's stolen it. But if you see it, you'll tell me. ...Right?**

Will had faced many terrible things in his life, the Kalkarra, the Temujai, a band of bloodthirsty bandits, a fake religious cult, and an army of Nihon-Jan warriors. But an angry Alyss? That was a force to be reckoned with.

It all started the day after his prank on Alyss. After she apologized to baron Arald, she had stormed off without saying a word. Will, sensing he'd done something wrong, bought her flowers, breakfast, and took her to a show at the theatre in town.

None of this however, had made Alyss forgive him. She wouldn't even talk to him. Will, sensing his relationship might be in jeopardy, went out and bought Alyss all the things he'd ever heard her say she wanted. He'd bought her a half dozen different puppies, about eleven different items of clothing, a set of throwing knives, he convinced the official ranger smith to craft her a saxe knife, he bought her a flat-screen and a car in 2014, too. But to no avail. Nothing he said, did, or payed came to fruition.

Will, now severely less wealthy, gave one last desperate attempt to save his love life, cornered Alyss and spoke to her.

"Alyss, I'm really sorry for what I did. If you'd just talk to me-" Will pleaded.

"Of course!" Alyss said cheerfully. There was no hint of anything but love in that voice. But then wha-? Oh. OH! _It had been a prank!_ All the money he spent and all the angst. It was all a prank!

"You-" Will began, but got no further.

"Karma's a bitch!" Alyss said cheerfully. A lesser, or possibly smarter man, might've let such an event go by forgotten. But not Will. Will would have payback. And he would have it bigtime.

**A/N: So! Shoutout to… Girl? That's the only name given. Well, anyway, she gave me the idea for this chapter! Thank you! So… What will Will's next move be? How will he get Alyss back for such a bank-breaking prank?**


	19. Back To Real Life

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Will, or Horace,. But I do own Callie. Not that she's in this episode.**

"Hey, Horace, you wanna do something with me today?" Will called Horace, bored.

"Will!" Horace was almost yelling into the phone with exasperation "You gotta help me study for midterms!" Midterms at the school Will and Horace attended, and, while Will had been studying for weeks, Horace had been busy pacifying a warlord that had taken over a small group of wargals in the Mountains of Rain and Night, and hadn't had time to study.

"Chill, Horace, I'll be over in a few minutes!" Will said into the phone, and hung up.

(Later)

"Hey, Horace, I'm here. What do you need help with?" Will asked.

"Everything, I haven't gotten a chance to study" Horace said.

"All right, well that's ok. We've still got a week" Will said.

"Oh, man, that's encouraging. I thought I was screwed. Can I put some music on while we study?" Horace asked.

"NO! PLEASE NO!" Will screamed, running away.

"Well, geeze, I guess he still hasn't gotten over that whole "Jumping out of a car" phase" Horace said to himself. And then realized he had no idea what to study.

"Son of a bitch!" Horace knew he had a long night ahead of him.

**A/N: Ok, I know this one's a little weak, but I need a break from the prank war plots. No matter! They won't be back till Friday, though. I've got a special idea for tomorrow.**


	20. Horace's Affair

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Horace or Svengal. Andrew's mine though.**

Horace was locked in battle with one of the toughest opponents he'd ever faced. The slightest wrong move and he could-

"HORACE?" A shrill cry rang from the other end of the training ground. Horace, knowing his affair had been discovered, tried to talk his way out of it.

"Svengal, you don't understand. Andrew and I were just-" Horace tired to speak, but was interrupted by Svengal.

"Just what? Just practicing without me? I TRUSTED YOU!" Svengal cried in anguish.

"No, Svengal, I still want to-" Horace tried, but was again cut off by the Skandian.

"Why'd you do it? Is he better than me? I could beat up that runt any day!" Svengal yelled, tears streaming down his face.

"Svengal!" This time it was Horace's turn to be mad "You're always late, belligerent and drunk! Half the time, I don't even know that you understand to not try to kill me!" Horace yelled.

"Is that what you think of me? Some old, alcoholic Skandian who doesn't know better? IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?" Svengal screamed at Horace. At this, Horace faltered. He knew Svengal better than that.

Andrew, who had remained silent, was very nervous and looking for a way to escape. As a top knight of the royal guard, he knew of and had great respect for both the knight and the Skandian standing in front of him, which made it even more unsettling that they were arguing as though they were married, and Svengal had just discovered Horace cheating on him.

"I'm just gonna leave," Andrew said Quietly.

"DAMN RIGHT!" Svengal yelled, "AND I DON'T WANT TO EVER SEE YOU AGAIN!" He screamed. As Andrew ran away, Svengal turned his attention back to Horace.

"I can't believe you cheated on me!" Svengal yelled.

"Well what was I supposed to do, just continue until one day, you killed me?" Horace yelled back. At this, Svengal charged at him, wielding his massive battleaxe as if it were a toy. Horace, unfazed by the charge, took the weight of the massive Skandian, and launched into half a dozen rapid overhand strikes that the Skandian only barely managed to block. The knight and the pirate launched into a battle so ferocious, it would put the best warriors on the planet to shame.

Andrew, who had remained to watch the fighting, ran off to fetch a soldier to stop the fighting. Two soldiers, he amended. The extra would be necessary. As he thought back to the battle, he realized it would take at least ten men to stop the fighting. Maybe even a hundred. Then he made up his mind, and ran off to Castle Araluen to fetch two regiments of knights to break up the battle.

Once Andrew was safely out of earshot, Horace ad Svengal stopped fighting.

"Think he fell for it?" Horace asked.

"Fell for it? I think he's going to be scarred by this for years!" Svengal roared in laughter.

"DId you see his face? He looked like he'd seen the devil himself!" Horace squealed with laughter.

"Oh, man," said Horace, "That never does get old"

**A/N: So, thoughts? Is it nice to see Svengal again? Should we continue with him, or is he just one more background-chan, ready to be stored in my mental warehouse of useless OC's and crushed dreams?**


	21. Spiders

**Sorry for the lack of updates over the weekend! I had a lot of stuff to do and didn't get to it. But I'm back! So… Without further adieu:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Will, Horace, Halt, or spiders. This is once again, a delay of the main prank war plotline because I've got a lot on my plate right now.**

"WILL! HELP!" Horace screamed, running to Will. Will and Horace were hunting in the woods outside castle Araluen.

"Woah! What happened, Horace?" Will asked, a little alarmed.

"There's a giant spider chasing me!" Horace screamed, "And we have to run now!"

"How big, Horace?" Will asked.

"IT WAS HUGE WILL! IT WAS AS BIG AS A DAMN PEACH!" Horace yelled.

"A peach! DEAR GOD RUN!" Will screamed. He and Horace ran six kilometers back to castle Araluen. Halt, who had watched the interchange, was laughing violently. He had acquired the spider from a… trader and was promised it wouldn't kill anyone if it bit them.

"Always good to keep them on their toes" Halt mused to himself.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. Like I said, a lot's happening right now, but no matter.**


	22. Will's Revenge

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Will, or Alyss. **

Will had been waiting weeks to pull off his revenge. Alyss had got him back badly for his "Gallica" prank. But now it was Will's turn. He knew he had no method of convincing her of anything. The reassignment had only worked because it was baron Arald who had told her. But there was another way…

"Will, where's my phone?" Alyss asked.

"Oh… uh…" Will stumbled over his words.

"Will. Where. Is. My. Phone?" Alyss asked, very restrained.

"Well, you see I-" Will began.

"WHERE?" Alyss asked, furious. It was funny, Will thought, how all his friends reacted to a prank the same way.

"I needed money so I…" At this, Will stopped.

"SO YOU WHAT?" Alyss asked, her face bright red.

"I sold it…" Will said.

"What would you need money for so badly that you would sell MY PHONE?" Alyss shouted at Will.

"Nothing, I swear!" Will said, terrified. Then, to Alyss' chagrin, Will leapt out of the window into his car. He put the keys in the ignition and drove off. Alyss, phone-less and Will-less ran to her own car and drove off after Will. It was going to be a long, long day, Alyss thought dismally.

**A/N: Watcha think? Was it good? Was it bad? In-between? Should the prank war continue or end in hugs and kisses?**


	23. The Return

**Hey! Sorry for the long break. My family and I went skiing in the rockies, and I got very sick immediately afterwards. I'm sorry about the delay, and about my lack of communication. Writing will return to normal in the next few days.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Will, Halt, or much else. But I own Andrew. He's tall!**

"Will..." The whisper was a chilling one, and it stirred WIll from his sleep. "Will, I'm back…" The voice was a familiar one too. Will couldn't place it. If only the person whispering would speak up. Maybe if he- _Why is there a person in my house? _Will thought to himself. Will, while he reached for his saxe, marveled that he hadn't noticed it was wrong for this mysterious person to be in his house. _I guess sleep loss makes everyone a little crazy. _

Right as Will was going to jump up and challenge the night time lurker, the lights came on and in front of him was-

"MORGARATH?" Will shrieked. Sure enough, standing in front of him was the lord of the mountain of rain and night. His face was deathly pale, his eyes sinister and black. "AAAH!" Will screamed, clutching himself. Halt, who had been hidden behind the doorframe watching, now fell onto his hands and knees, cackling at Will's fear. Morgarath, one second ago a terrifying ghost, now looked shockingly similar to Andrew, Horace's new friend. Realization dawned upon Will.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Halt asked. He expected Will to look mad, not… evil. "What?" Halt asked, a hint of fear in his voice.

"Halt," Will started, "I know who would like to hear about this. Do you?" And then Halt figured it out if Will told- "Oh, no you can't!" Halt begged. "Say it." said Will, looking down at Halt. "P-Pauline" Halt said. Will smiled evilly and nodded. From that look, Halt knew, he was in trouble.

As for Andrew, Will threw him in a lake.

**A/N: So, it was a little rough, a little short. I'm still re-finding my voice. I have some interesting stuff going on right now. I'll report back later. **


	24. Little Green Leafies

**Hi. I'd like to talk about a few things before we start this chapter. I have a lot going on in school right now, and keeping this story up-to date is very hard for me. I haven't forgotten about it and want to keep writing. I think (I'm not sure!) things will return to normal in 1-4 weeks. I hope you'll stick with me until then. I really like working on this, but its hard to with all that I have on my plate. **

**Also, I don't condone use of drugs. This is done totally for the purpose of satire.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice, Will, Horace, or Pot. Any pot. I have no marijuana. **

"Hey, Will, check this out." Horace and Will were meeting at Horace's house.

"What is it, Horace?" WIll asked. He had never seen anything like the small, rolled up paper-ish tube before.

"Well, the guy that gave it to me called it "pot". He said I should share it with my friends, so I invited you." Horace Explained.

"How do we… use pot?" Will asked.

"Well, you just burn the end for a second, and inhale from the other end" Horace said.

"Are you sure? I feel like that wouldn't work" Will said.

"Well," said Horace, "Let's try" He and Will started to smoke the drug. After a few minutes, Will spoke up.

"Horace?"

"Yeah?"

"What the hell are we doing?"

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAYS. I really am trying. Also, please leave specific suggestions for what you would like to see. Make them reasonable and FIT IN with the general aura of these stories.**


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